Melancholy love

I'm finally back after almost a year of not blogging I guess.
Life has been pretty hard :( Things are never the same again.
I am back with him. I am grateful for his presence but sometime it hurts me when he still blame me for leaving him after so many years. Its not an easy journey when I want to start over with him and love him and make up for all those time I have wasted. To be with him isnt an easy job as he does throw tantrums, sleep uncontrollably and is pretty stubborn when I want to talk to him. I feel suffocated when he does that to me. Sometimes I think he is still after for revenge and wants to hurt me. He hasn't been himself like when the first time I met him and I still cry till today due to all the changes. He claimed that I was the cause for his sudden change of behavior.

Is it wrong?
a) Just to get a little more love from him
An update: He is now studying abroad and I feel helpless about anything
b) to be more caring like you used to be?
c) to be more of a manja sick puppy again? When was the last time you did that ?
d) to spend more time with me over Skype which I know you are too busy to even look at me at times :(

I believe in the saying, that if you have to keep asking and bugging for his attention, he's not worth is because he has probably have someone else to think of, and his mind is not with you, so I feel really upset when you are slowly drifting to be someone who I don't know anymore. 

Yes, I know you say that you are working on it and all, but when is the last time you actually did? You told me you'll change yesterday. And what happens? The next day, you ignore all my calls and fall asleep for more than 20 hours. How would you feel if you have to go through this all the time? What's worse is you weren't like that the last time. Do I love you ? Yes, I truly do. But you will never change anymore. Even if I were to fly over to US just for you so that I can prepare you meals and wake you up to go classes and also tutor you and help you when you have your assignments :( Nothing will ever change again. Well done, you've done great to hurt me like how you felt the last time. One day, I'll leave for good so you can live without regrets anymore.